Become Unavailable

Before, I was a yes-sir guy. I did everything I was asked. If you asked if I could handle that, I would answer, 'Absolutely.' Once, being at the dentist's, I was so tired and overwhelmed that I fell asleep in his chair. That moment was my wake-up call: I needed to change.

I studied psychology, self-help, and productivity to improve my life. I have developed a strong understanding of time management. Very few pieces of advice stuck to my routine. Here are some that did.

Have me-time. First of all, do not let yourself be too busy. Sometimes, do nothing. Keep prioritizing a meeting with yourself. We do a marathon, not a sprint.

Pay your family first. Your employment is the most time-consuming thing in your life, but it is not the most important. Focus on family time over everything else. When with family, become unavailable for your second life as an employee. Tomorrow, the kids will be one day older. Parents won't be here forever.

Pay yourself first. Humans have a limited amount of mental fuel. Spend your mental energy on what matters most. Do not begin your day with shallow work. For example, I wrote this post in the morning. I work on pet projects only in the mornings. On days I go to the gym, I go in the morning.

Use your calendar. Plan your day yourself, and do not let others do it. As a bonus, you will become transparent. People will know that you are focusing on something, and they will wait for the outcomes. I used to use different apps like Fantastical or Todoist. I ended up with a Google Calendar. It is simple to use, available on every device, and can be used across the whole family.

Embrace deep work. Block time in your calendar for deep, focused, distraction-free work. During that time, quit every app that does not relate to your task and put your phone in DND mode. I have a hard time focusing on something specific for a long period of time. Since then, I have been doing much better by practicing deep work and meditation. While deep working, I finally finished the personal project I abandoned for so long.

Set aside time for shallow work. Block time for shallow work. During that time, check your email, answer questions, and do code reviews. Focusing is mentally taxing, and during shallow work periods, you will rest. I group shallow tasks together and tackle them in dedicated time blocks.

People will protest your unavailability. They will not like your focusing periods. They think they should focus, and you should answer any of their questions right away. Fight. Do not let them convince you. If you are such a knowledge bag, set up working hours. Explain why focus is important to you, and over time, they will see your results and will respect your boundaries.

Further reading. If you want to go deeper into the topic, there are the books that inspired this post:

• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. A counterintuitive guide to living a meaningful life by focusing only on what truly matters.
• Deep Work by Cal Newport. Learn how to cultivate focus and achieve peak productivity in an age of distraction.
• Jedy Techniques (orig.: Джедайские техники) by Maxim Dorofeev. Strategies for managing your time and energy effectively

Takeaways

These tips focus on what is up to us and lead to a healthier life. Each piece of advice from this post may look simple, and that is true. Yet, mastering it takes time. Luckily, we do have a few more moments to live.

What strategies have you used to manage your time? I'd love to hear your thoughts.